One, Two, Threesome!

The experience of two mouths and four hands pleasing only you really is everything it’s cracked up to be.

A sexual threesome is always big news.  Many people fantasize about it, but less than a third of those actually close the deal.  Threesomes are the stuff of legend, especially among single guys.  We read about them in erotica, see them in movies, joke about them with our pals, and plan them down to every dirty detail in our imaginations.  I’m here, with years of menage a trois experience, to tell you to take that fantasy OUT of your brain and put it IN your bed.

A threesome is a sexual experience everyone should have, in my opinion.  And although many sex tips articles or sites would have you believe different, I don’t think the details of how you do it are all that important.  Can’t imagine sharing your guy with another lady?  Well, how about him and his pal sharing you?  Not into the idea of being responsible for – or overwhelmed by – two people at once? Maybe the three of you take turns pleasing each other while one person watches and cheerleads. I don’t think any specific relationship structure between the three of you is necessary, either.  Friends, singles, a couple, long-term dating, short-term dating, fuck buddies … any combination thereof can produce a fun and easy chemistry in the bedroom.  It’s just important to make sure everyone involved is comfortable with the relationships in place, and understands how those relationships will (or WON’T) change afterward.  If you can’t imagine including someone you already know in sex with your partner, then find some fun next time you’re on vacation.  Ultimately, what matters in a threesome is not exactly what happens or exactly how.  What matters is that all of you enjoy yourselves … and each other, of course.

My first threesome was with my boyfriend and a good friend of ours, when I was 20.  We’d spent all day at the Detroit Electronic Music Festival, dancing and getting lost in the beats and ourselves.  Boyfriend and I crawled into our bed in the basement, exhausted, and our third, a gorgeous redhead (Ginger, for us) crawled into the spare bed with her boyfriend upstairs.  Turns out no one could sleep, though, except Ginger’s man.  So while he snored away, the three of us tried all kinds of different ways of fitting ourselves together.  Ginger was the first woman I’d been with casually – my only other experience was with a high school girlfriend of a year and a half.  I had Ginger kneel over my shoulders so I could lick her while my boyfriend fucked me and massaged her breasts.  She rubbed my clit while I tongue-fucked her to orgasm, and when the three of us came together – my boyfriend inside me, her into my mouth, and me around him, moaning up into her pussy – that simultaneous orgasm was another first for me.  I was in heaven – and our night was just getting started.

Since then, I’ve had a number of other threesomes.  I usually participate in FFM (two women, one man) setups because I’m bi, but I’ve been in a couple memorable MMFs … and my favorite threesome ever was FFF.  I’ve had diverse experiences with those sexual triads.  Some were wonderful experiences with zero negative aftereffects.  Some had fallout that lasted for weeks!  Some were accompanied by threesome dating; some weren’t.  I’ve found threesome dating to be nigh on impossible (just because jealousy is almost always a factor when it comes to the relationship aspect of things), so now I keep the threesomes in my life to sex.  And here are a few things I’ve learned to keep in mind when planning a menage a trois.  They’ll keep things pleasurable and problem-free – so your threesome will be unforgettable for all the RIGHT reasons.

The SDAW Big Three (only three, everything else = anything goes!) Threesome Rules:

1. Discuss safety and limits beforehand.  Even if it’s just a three-minute powwow before you go back to tearing each other’s clothes off, this is a necessary step.  No one wants to come up short in the middle of some hot action because he or she isn’t sure what his/her partners are okay with.  If you’re part of a couple who’s inviting a third, don’t apply those safety rules only to the new party – off-limits play is off-limits to all (even if it’s something you and your partner do together), and everyone uses condoms/barriers (even if you and your partner don’t usually).  And I shouldn’t have to tell you to have some lube handy.
2. Do appropriate aftercare.  No matter how well you know each other, it’s important to check in with your partner(s) in the next couple days, to keep honesty operating in your relationship(s).  Find out what he or she or they liked and share your own reactions.  If you plan to have more threesomes at all, with these people or not, knowing a little about yourself and your goals is key.  If you’re a couple who’s invited a third, this is especially important – and doubly so if this is the first time another partner’s been introduced sexually to your relationship.  If you’re anything like me, talking with your partner about the great time you had and what you remember loving about it will just set the scene for lots more fun.
3. Keep it in perspective.  Threesomes are fun.  That’s all they’re supposed to be.  Enjoy everything that’s happening while it’s happening, and keep it in the moment.  Don’t let previous fantasies and/or overthinking ruin your fun, and don’t let bad experiences become cumbersome or difficult to shake off.  Chalk them up to life experience and lessons learned, and proceed accordingly.

And there you have it:  everything I’ve learned about fucking two people at once that I think you need to know.  And I think you do need to know – because I think you need to do it.  If you’re coupled up at the moment, start a conversation with your partner about your fantasies and go from there at your own pace.  If you’re single, maybe get to know an adventurous couple or two.  The experience of two mouths and four hands pleasing only you really is everything it’s cracked up to be.  Other questions for me about the ways of the threeway?  Ask away!  Just remember what I’ve mentioned above – being responsible and relaxed about it are the only things that really matter.  All right, all right – maybe making sure the neighbors don’t phone the police because of your screams of pleasure matters, too … but only in some neighborhoods.