So you have read all the media hype surrounding 50 Shades of Grey. You may have even read the book (I personally 
wouldn’t recommend it) or you have occasionally enjoyed a little bondage in the bedroom… But that doesn’t make you kinky, right?
Or maybe you have a fetish. Something totally off the wall. It must just be you mustn’t it? Or maybe you crave something more than simply ‘vanilla’ sex. I have to say in my experience ‘vanilla’ always seems to include sprinkles of the kinky variety, so much so I’m not sure I could go back to sex without them!
There is a whole world ready to explore if you are already perched precariously sneaking a quick peek into kink’s backyard. Thousands of people openly admit their kinks, many more do it behind closed doors and millions fantasize about it- If you are one of them, you are not alone! Maybe like me, you are a little kinky at heart, enjoy the flick of the flogger, a little breath play but have never really defined yourself. If you want to know more then where the hell do you start?
Until a year ago I didn’t really know much about BDSM. I am really still very novice however my journey so far has lead me down some interesting paths and I have become friends with some very interesting people. We first became curious as our bedroom antics began to develop into more and more of the kinky kind. A little roughness around the edges began to merge into consensual-non consent play. I discovered my partner has a certain liking for piercings and play piercing. I discovered that the pain and the anticipation of the pain get me off. We started to look into BDSM play online and stumbled into a whole world of, mmmm mmmmmm….. yes!
At the same time, I accidentally discovered Molly’s Daily Kiss, which remains one of my favorite blogs, through my normal twitter account. A little twitter searching later, I discovered Twitter ‘after dark’. My naughty account was born!
So BDSM, kink, fetishes…. What’s it all about then? I’m not about to go into the depths of BDSM, I am not well enough qualified to do so, however BDSM can be divided three-ways. This is representational of the various threesomes of BDSM. Firstly it is divided into those practising Bondage & Discipline, Dominance & submission (D/s), Sadism & Masochism / Sadomasochism (S/M, SM). Secondly, the three-way creed of BDSM behavior: Safe, Sane, and Consensual. Thirdly, the three divisions of the community: Tops, Bottoms, and Switches.
BDSM emblem.
Still confused? Or like me have you heard the terms, maybe thrown them around a little without fully understanding their meaning… Well here is Lily’s Little Glossary of Kink! (with thanks to Screw the Roses… and wikipedia!)
Bondage: Any practice involving restraining the body to restrict freedom of movement.
Bondage & Discipline, B&D: Term refering to several sexual practices including; bondage, slave training, corporal punishment, and D/s role play.
Bottom: An SM practitioner who submits to bondage, training, role play, corporal punishment… who is not necessarily emotionally committed to his / her dominant / top.
Discipline: The D in B&D that can mean punishment or structured training of a submissive.
Dominant: The person who is given control in a consensual exchange of power. Domme, Dominatrix, Domina refers to women.
Dominance & submission, D/s: The consentual empowerment of one partner by the other for erotic enhancement. D/s are emotional underpinning of SM. D/s relationships can range from within the bedroom to lifestyle relationships.
Masochist: Erotic enjoyment of pain, humiliation and / or being dominated.
Sasist: Derives sexual pleasure from the giving of pain, humiliation and / or domination.
Sadomasochism, SM: Advanced sexual practices incorporating the consensual use of pain, humiliation and power exchange for erotic enjoyment.
Submissive: One who surrenders control of their body and behaviour (within pre-determined limits… see ’50 shades of grey’ for evidence of a contract… lol!) to another in erotic play.
Switch: A person who enjoys taking either side in SM role or physical play (eg Dom or sub)
Top: One who takes the active role of Top in physical sense but not necessarily emotional / mental control
I like to read and to learn when a subject interests me (especially when it involves sex!). If you harbour an interest in kink or any BDSM practices can I point you in the direction of the fabulous book, ‘Screw the Roses, Send me the Thorns’, Miller & Devon- (who write it much much better than me!) from whom I have learnt much and referred to often. I also have a Kindle FULL of smut, however I wont point you the direction of my BDSM e-books… for now. However, I will point you towards 3 fantastic BDSM blogs. Molly’s Daily Kiss, Down the Rabbit Hole and A Slut’s Memoir give intimate portrayals of the writer’s submission. I find their honesty and personal accounts both inspiring and breathtaking as well as super hot!
Other places I have found really useful is Fetlife. Fetlife is like Facebook for kinky folk! It has groups and discussions and is a great place to ask those stupid questions, or even better find that someone else has already asked it for you! The list of fetishes is incredible, I found myself googling them…. And good GOD! As the saying goes ‘Your kink is not my kink’…. each to their own and all!
I have also found useful The Submissive’s Guide is an excellent resource.
Finally, one important thing to note. There are dangers associated with BDSM. The practise of BDSM should always be: Safe, Sane and Consentual. BDSM is not abuse. Abuse occurs where there is no consent, no safe words, no control, where the parties are not both mutually involved for the pleasure of each other. If you seek a path down the BDSM route, become knowledgeable of any form of play or sadistic treatment you desire to give or receive. Learn from someone you trust, online or from books but know the dangers and risks associated with whatever you wish to do.
I leave you with a little submissive Tale to whet your kinky tastebuds (and hopefully a little more!). You can find more BDSM style smut over on my blog, AnonyMissLily
Until next week, toodle pip my little kinksters!
Lily xxx
****
She entered the hotel room and checked her phone nervously,
“Take off your dress and wait as instructed.”
She unzipped herself and stepped out of the dress hanging it neatly, anxiously wondering when he might get there and what the night would hold. Simply wearing her hold ups and high heels she knelt in the middle of the floor facing away from the door. She was conscious of her naked breasts pert with anticipation as she waited.
She noticed the details of the room, the bed was clean and freshly made. The pillows lined up against the head-board. Fresh towels on the towel rail, toiletries lined up like a row of soldiers by the bath.
She heard the door unlock. She turned her head back towards the bed, eyes down. Sitting on her feet, kneeling high and taking time to evaluate her posture she stretched her spine, tightening her core muscles and squeezing her scapulae towards each other opening her chest. He entered. She heard the door close.
Taking his time he shuffled about in the room, she could not see what he was doing. Then he approached her, standing still he observed her for a moment. She could hear his breathing. She wished she could hear his thoughts. He walked around her, still in his suit she admired his fine taste in shoes. He touched each breast in turn, her nipples jumping to greet him like enthusiastic puppies, her breathing quickening.
“Good, now onto the bed.”
She elegantly rose and climbed onto the bed.
“As we discussed” he uttered.
She positioned herself, as in Child’s pose, her arse high. He widened her legs, fixing them with a spreader bar. Cunt exposed. He wrapped leather restraints around her wrists. She had little option of movement but to lift her hips or lower them. He took out a silk blindfold and secured it over her eyes. Fingers stroked along her spine, to the cleft of her buttocks, gently teasing her, slowly lingering over her anus then moving ever closer towards her cunt.
A finger dipped into her wetness and she gasped. The fingers continued to move around her cunt, circling her clit.
“She’s all yours.” He said, moving away.
She tried not to panic, her heart raced, her cunt tensed as the door opened and closed. The same fingers still caressed her softly driving her towards the edge, however she didn’t know whose?
A familiar voice whispered in her ear,
“You have been a very naughty girl, now it’s my turn to punish you.”
The voice caused her to squirm and cower at the same time. She wondered where the evening would lead and the excitement made her heart sing.
“Yes Mistress.” She meekly replied, hopeless to resist the smile from spreading across her eager face.
